Allah mujhe dard ke kaabil bana diya,
Toofan ko hi kashti ka Sahil Bana diya,
Bechainiyan Samet ke Saare Jahan, ki Jab Kuch na ban sakaa toh mera Dil️ Bana diya…

The past two months has been a road with nails, and no other direction for me to go but forward.

I live with a constant downpour of different types of infections. I see more of ins and outs of the hospital and there is no joy in this when you have so many plans on the list. Though long back I had given up on making plans and taking life the way it comes, but if you are out there trying to earn your bread and butter as well and there are people dependent on you for their physical and mental health then there it goes, all out of the window. 

I have a mindset of always trying to better myself through meditation, exercises, talking positive, playing with my fur babies, planning their picnic etc.

I want to improve, get better, get stronger, smarter, wiser not because I am expected but because I have always wanted to do this. Live each day of my life with love and laughter and age gracefully.

And now that one wish is getting little difficult –

I am not complaining or cribbing; Just sharing my mind-Please don’t think I am giving up but rather I am accepting my situation gracefully.

Living with Cystic Fibrosis has been not an easy journey but it’s been a rewarding one though at times I feel otherwise.

I have had the best chances to live and experience life. I value relationships, nature, love, emotions, and struggles more than anything. I experience life in the smallest things and have this naughty smile on my face. SO HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR MY ILLNESS, I DONT KNOW WHAT I WOULD HAVE BEEN AS A PERSON. 

At times, something so unpredictable and something new can make your life so restricted. I am constantly working on myself to stay healthy and trying to improve my health, and yet, there are times when I don’t feel like the numbers are showing and I am back at step.

Phoenix rising isn’t it?

Firstly, I know I have a challenging life but I still carry on with my daily routine. Slowly and gradually, I am satisfied with what I do in a days’ time. But then there comes those times when physically I get restricted like when in hospitals or at home on IV treatments.

The latter is a troublesome situation. It makes your brain work more and you tend to lose hope you might have generated or found in past. It makes you reflect on your present and your past with not too much of hope of your future. 

I am so sorry if I am not making much sense today.

But these are things I get to hear from others when they are going through a situation or I have experienced when people suffer through some trauma.

It’s not necessary to have a physical illness; it could be mental illness, some struggle, some trauma of one’s life.

The all-important point I try to make is- DONT GIVE UP. YOUR DEMENTORS ARE JUST A STEP AWAY AND READY TO GET YOU. You may have fought a lot for what you are today, internally and externally SO DONT LET THEM GET YOU. TALK TO PEOPLE WHO SPEAK POSITIVE, WHO ENCOURAGE YOU MORE. READ GOOD BOOKS. TRY MEDITATION AND WATCH WISER AND FUNNIER STUFF ONLINE. TRY TO FIND WAYS OF KEEPING YOURSELF POSITIVELY INVOLVED rather than giving up or surrendering. 

There is a thin line between surrendering and accepting.

Acceptance is the key- because that’s when you try to find solutions, look for better ways to help yourself. So acceptance that I have this problem would help me in finding ways of coping. YES, I HAVE ACCEPTED IT BUT I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP. 

So many people have so many bucket lists and wishes, but people like me have one wish that AT LEAST WHEN I AM SICK, THAT I COULD BREATHE WELL. NICE AND DEEP. We don’t ask much when we pray or if we pray. It can sometimes be frustrating to have to be doing nothing but breathing treatments which should have been so easier for every living being in this universe but we ruined everything possible. Played with creation. Created scientific modifications, ruin our atmosphere, environment through various ways and here we are- paying the price with so many genetic illnesses. 

But it’s one step at a time, let’s do it.

P;S Its always wonderful to see all of you writing me back and it only motivates me more and more. More and more blogs will come on the health update, more career choices, travels and much more. Thanks in advance for hearing me out, reading my blog. 

Love,

Arouba 

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CF Survival Stories