Why has “What do you do Professionally”, become so important?

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Whenever I meet people whether after a long time or for the very first time, be it a wedding party, picnic, travel, trek, work, conference etc, the question that pops up without fail is~ “What do you do?”


Even the traffic Cop asked me once, aap kya kartein hai Madam? (What do you do ma’am?) Isn’t this hilarious?



I can only smile because I don’t know where I should start from. The very moment this particular question comes, I know If I tell them about the “n number” of things that I do, they won’t understand. They would say, “she is just another person who doesn’t have a real career.”


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Why do we need to know such things about them when not at a professional place ??


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Being the person I am, I don’t even know what most of my friends do professionally. What Companies they work for or what their designation is. Because I know them for the kind of people they are.


 I know its kinda funny.

I told him once, I didn’t know what he was at his office as people ask me, and all I am able to tell them he is a legal manager at one of the fancy law firms.

He smiled and replied back, ” they just want to know what kind of a person are you married to? Should they be friends with your husband as well or not? It okay to not know about these details as long as you know the person.

I know soon he will be a partner but apart from that, I don’t know exactly what level is he at?

And It’s absolutely normal for me but people find it stupid.

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When we started dating, all I wanted to know about him was how is he as a person and not about his pay cheque and whether it was/wasn’t going to be enough for us?

People might feel I am not professional enough. Does that mean I don’t work? I don’t earn money? Well I do, and I am an absolutely independent woman in every aspect but does my college, company, designation define me?

No way- I am who I am, As a person. How I handle life, live every day, fall in love, meet and greet people, sympathize and empathize with others. That’s who I am. My work, college, social status is not who I am but they are a tiny part of Arouba. 

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Don’t fall into the trap of thinking these labels define you, says, Ho Shee Wai- A renowned psychologist.




Those who only identify themselves through their profession can ultimately fall into depression should it go away, while others can quickly rebind from their loss, according to Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychology professor at the University of Massachusetts Amherst in the US.

Making it a point to discuss non-work related topics with strangers, friends and family members can help build that necessary barrier between your work and social self.

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So I wonder, Why is it so important for people to know whether I am a doctor or a teacher or a business person? I know people who are multi-talented and do multiple things and succeed in all of those. I don’t call them unprofessional, I don’t even think of judging them.

I always thought better the education, better the human being but as I grew up, it proved so wrong. People have degrees but they also do have judgments about those who were not so privileged enough. They might have been to the best of the universities but they still would ignore you if you don’t work for a reputed organization.


What have we become?! Have we lost interest in humanity, basic etiquettes and getting to knowing how the person is, what do they know of life and their experiences? Shouldn’t that be more important when we meet someone for the first time rather than knowing their social status or kind of money they have?!

I can only ask people to be more polite when they meet someone new, rather than asking where have you studied, what do you do for a living?

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Our social and professional life should be balanced. Networking everywhere doesn’t help. There are people like me out there who very much like to keep it separate. Having good contacts is amazing but meeting judging people on the basis of their social status is just not fair, both to us and to them.

This idea came to me after I encountered such questions at this recent wedding. No one was interested to know anyone or me as a person but everyone was interested to know each other or me for the kind of position they had in their professional life.

This broke my heart and that little silly voice inside of me kept telling me to share this with you.


Let’s know each other for what we are. That’s more important from what we do.

Keep reading and keep motivating me for writing more and more life’s experiences. I will soon share with you all my recent travel experiences as well as what I feel and how I handle other things of life.



Life and Us- Life stories

AroubaKabir04 View All →

:-) A seeking one.
By profession, a Wellness Coach for Physical and Mental Health, Certified Yoga and Pilates Therapist, Grand Master in Meditation, Traveller and a Blogger

20 Comments Leave a comment

  1. Well said..
    I hope people try to change their attitude after reading this…
    So happy to read this…often we ignore such questions saying let it be and deep inside we do think about it…
    Balance is important in life/work/feelings socially, physically and mentally.
    People often get encountered by such questions… I guess some people take lot of time to grow and till then lets hope for positivity..
    I personally do believe what you have expressed… Its more important to know a person rather than his/her profession… we like somebody or love first question that comes to our mind is not wat they do? whats their profession? So its ok to use brain and heart equally, no harm in that…
    Emotions n feelings also hold place in our lives..
    #BeTheChange #BalancedLife
    Thankyou for sharing your thoughts.
    Lots of love

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Auhh here you are with new blog writing after long time for which I was eagerly waiting to read b/w the lines.
    Konwing people with their professions has nothing to do. Aroubha I seriously admire you. You have put in your thoughts of reality between the lines so beautifully. Eductaion and self respect is all about this – knowing a person in reality rather than his or her profession which is non of our business niether their’s. It’s so meaningful.
    And the way you have been writing blogs have made me choose reading it in particular. Come up with more and more of blogs putting in with all your experiences of travel, trek and many more you have been doing in your real life. I will be waiting to read all of it. 😊
    Thanks for writing this blog.
    Lots of Love 💞


  3. Very true… People have started to judge people by their designations nd positions. Nd after reading this I realized that I too don’t know wat my hubby does nd even wat my brother’s position in their company… Bcz v never bothered abt wat they do… We just need wat they r to us… Keep writing abt such topics…


  4. Reading this took me few years back down the memory lane when people would ask me, “What does your Dad do?” and I never could provide an answer informative enough. People thought it to be stupid and often laughed at me, making me feel small about myself and that’s how I got the tag “oblivious” for the very first time. Well, I knew my Dad was a businessman but then that piece of information was always enough for me, I did no further digging into it as it never really mattered. His designation was never a deciding factor for me when it came to love or respect or everything that follows and it should never be! I have been told and made to feel in both small and big ways that I am a misfit.
    “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” ~ Dita Von Teese.
    Reading this just gave me a new perspective! It’s okay to not belong and it’s okay to stand out, some would call you weird while some would call you unique. I am team Arouba through and through, even if it makes us look like nothing a Wallflower. And I couldn’t agree more, there’s a lot to life and people than the designation alone. People can be so many different things and in so many beautiful ways. There’s so little time and so much to do so let’s cherish people for who they are and not for what role they play in the professional pyramid.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Nicely written arouba, actually I love how u have written.. It’s actually true how society treats you when there no actual proffession, not only proffession even during studies it happens.. For example when u take arts ignoring science and commerce – ppl won’t come near you to talk. It’s really strange.

    I love the way you lead ur life – yoga, traveling and especially with ur jigar. I promptly follow ur fb posts.. Keep going. 😊😊


  6. Following your posts, regularly, thought creeps in, on its own, to compliment you, then , it becomes a difficult choice , kis kis ke liye compliments karey 🙂
    You have the best ART of connecting with people & TREASURE of experience, with inner depth intelligence, to make people connect with themselves & what makes you unique is that you share , that too,in the most candid way & effortlessly.

    I wish you great health ,

    U stated the facts prevailing in day to day interaction of we human forms , am sure , more & more sharing such awareness by kind souls like you , will bring consciousness, initiate a process from HUMAN FORMS to HUMAN BEINGS, which will help this world look & feel the way UNIVERSE has created for us , beautiful , adventurous, ever giving.

    So please keep sharing , always looking forward to your posts .



    Liked by 1 person

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