Whenever I meet people whether after a long time or for the very first time, be it a wedding party, picnic, travel, trek, work, conference etc, the question that pops up without fail is~ “What do you do?”
Even the traffic Cop asked me once, aap kya kartein hai Madam? (What do you do ma’am?) Isn’t this hilarious?
I can only smile because I don’t know where I should start from. The very moment this particular question comes, I know If I tell them about the “n number” of things that I do, they won’t understand. They would say, “she is just another person who doesn’t have a real career.”
Why do we need to know such things about them when not at a professional place ??
Being the person I am, I don’t even know what most of my friends do professionally. What Companies they work for or what their designation is. Because I know them for the kind of people they are.
I know its kinda funny.
I told him once, I didn’t know what he was at his office as people ask me, and all I am able to tell them he is a legal manager at one of the fancy law firms.
He smiled and replied back, ” they just want to know what kind of a person are you married to? Should they be friends with your husband as well or not? It okay to not know about these details as long as you know the person.
I know soon he will be a partner but apart from that, I don’t know exactly what level is he at?
And It’s absolutely normal for me but people find it stupid.
When we started dating, all I wanted to know about him was how is he as a person and not about his pay cheque and whether it was/wasn’t going to be enough for us?
People might feel I am not professional enough. Does that mean I don’t work? I don’t earn money? Well I do, and I am an absolutely independent woman in every aspect but does my college, company, designation define me?
No way- I am who I am, As a person. How I handle life, live every day, fall in love, meet and greet people, sympathize and empathize with others. That’s who I am. My work, college, social status is not who I am but they are a tiny part of Arouba.
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking these labels define you, says, Ho Shee Wai- A renowned psychologist.
Those who only identify themselves through their profession can ultimately fall into depression should it go away, while others can quickly rebind from their loss, according to Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychology professor at the University of Massachusetts Amherst in the US.
Making it a point to discuss non-work related topics with strangers, friends and family members can help build that necessary barrier between your work and social self.
So I wonder, Why is it so important for people to know whether I am a doctor or a teacher or a business person? I know people who are multi-talented and do multiple things and succeed in all of those. I don’t call them unprofessional, I don’t even think of judging them.
I always thought better the education, better the human being but as I grew up, it proved so wrong. People have degrees but they also do have judgments about those who were not so privileged enough. They might have been to the best of the universities but they still would ignore you if you don’t work for a reputed organization.
What have we become?! Have we lost interest in humanity, basic etiquettes and getting to knowing how the person is, what do they know of life and their experiences? Shouldn’t that be more important when we meet someone for the first time rather than knowing their social status or kind of money they have?!
I can only ask people to be more polite when they meet someone new, rather than asking where have you studied, what do you do for a living?
Our social and professional life should be balanced. Networking everywhere doesn’t help. There are people like me out there who very much like to keep it separate. Having good contacts is amazing but meeting judging people on the basis of their social status is just not fair, both to us and to them.
This idea came to me after I encountered such questions at this recent wedding. No one was interested to know anyone or me as a person but everyone was interested to know each other or me for the kind of position they had in their professional life.
This broke my heart and that little silly voice inside of me kept telling me to share this with you.
Let’s know each other for what we are. That’s more important from what we do.
Keep reading and keep motivating me for writing more and more life’s experiences. I will soon share with you all my recent travel experiences as well as what I feel and how I handle other things of life.
:-) A seeking one.
By profession, a Wellness Coach for Physical and Mental Health, Certified Yoga and Pilates Therapist, Grand Master in Meditation, Traveller and a Blogger